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PEOPLE SKILLS-Important Techniques for Managing and Leading Others
This issue will take on a slightly different format from previous issues. This month, I’d like to focus on a key improvement process-leadership and management skills. Whether you “manage” your children at home, teach students in a classroom or lead in a business or government environment, many of the same leadership/management skills are needed to do the job well.
My client base of business and government leaders, school administrators, teachers, students and parents often hear me say how similar these “jobs” are. Perhaps, as you read the following article you will also see the similarity in the techniques.
Yes, we’re all in a hurry to get things done. But when starting in a new supervisory position, a teaching assignment or school principalship, don’t introduce dramatic changes too quickly. You must first gain the trust of those you lead. Think through what your ultimate supervisory environment would look like and develop plans to reach that vision. Take some small steps in the first few weeks then you can gradually speed up the pace. Once you get everyone comfortable with you in the supervisory role, the speed of change can accelerate. Understand that those you lead will size you up quickly and try out every conceivable method to wear you down. Don’t introduce too many rules and regulations the first day. Let everyone become comfortable with you and, over the course of time you will have the opportunity to introduce your style of leadership.
Parents must establish a feeling of being loved within their child from birth. Use every opportunity to reinforce that love. Caring builds trust, the one trait all effective parents build into their relationship with their children. Whether you are managing or parenting, trust is the key element for building an effective leadership environment at work and in the home.
Be consistent.
Nothing gets you in trouble faster than inconsistency. You cannot treat your dearest friend that you now supervise any differently then the one peer you disliked working with in the past. Nor can you treat your favorite student differently than the one who drives you crazy. All deserve a fair treatment from you equal to what you would do for your best friend. Think through decisions by asking two questions. Can I do this for everyone in the department or school setting? Given the same set of circumstances, would I make the same decision each time? If the answer to both questions is yes, move with the decision. If there is a moment of hesitation, think further on the fairness of your decision and seek an alternative strategy.
In the home, discipline is impossible to implement when parents are inconsistent with their decisions. A child should eventually know how you would react to any situation before that situation occurs. Likewise, your discipline should be fair, predictable and consistent with the seriousness of the act.
Be accessible to everyone.
An open door policy builds trust. Having “quiet conversations” with your friends while excluding others who should be in on the conversation builds walls of resistance. To tear down walls, allow everyone equal access to information. During my career as a manager, I would often tell people under my supervision that I would willingly share any information about our work that they wanted to learn. I always felt that the more they knew, the stronger I was required to be. That signaled growth potential for all of us. Never refuse to discuss a work issue with those you supervise. If you don’t have the answer, get it. A willingness to give your time to those in need builds strong loyalty and stability within your department or organization.
A second consideration under this point is to be visible in all parts of your department or school setting. Don’t just go to your “favorite” place or spend time with your favorite people. Be everywhere. Management by walking around is great for workers and an excellent tool for managers.
Teachers should be available for students and principals should be available for teachers. Make them comfortable coming to you and let them know that you are interested in hearing their concerns.
As parents, we must be sensitive to what is troubling our children and we should always be willing to listen to those troubles. A child should never fear telling parents what is bothering them. Far better for your child to tell you who sells drugs at school rather than having your child take drugs without your knowledge.
Workers deserve the benefit of your skills and knowledge. It is your job to correct behavior that is detrimental to the organization. However, never take it to a personal level. Only discuss the unacceptable behavior. Then, be sure to add what behavior is acceptable and how one should go about implementing the new behavior. Comment without direction is far less powerful than comment with direction.
Do all this in the privacy of your office or when no one else is around. No one enjoys being corrected in front of others. Extend that courtesy and your ability to successfully correct unacceptable behavior will dramatically improve.
Teachers are often “forced” to exercise discipline in front of the entire classroom. A better technique is to take a disruptive student aside and, in a one-on-one conversation, let that student know exactly what you expect from them. Don’t mense words but don’t degenerate into an attack on their self-worth as a person. Be direct with your expectations but stay focused on the unacceptable behavior you are trying to eliminate.
When disciplining children, this is extremely important. Children are very vulnerable and are easily crushed by words. Always correct inappropriate behavior but always avoid demeaning the child. Children should never doubt your love or caring for them, even when they are being severely disciplined by you. If discipline is done properly and consistently early on, the need to discipline will diminish. That fact holds true whether in a corporate, school or home setting.
Don’t be embarrassed to ask for
help
Just because you are in charge that does not automatically make you the most intelligent or knowledgeable worker. Whether it is a classroom or corporate environment, when work situations develop that you simply don’t have all the answers, ask your workers for their opinions. Individually or collectively, your workers can be your best source for improvement. An added bonus of this practice is that workers feel more involved and prideful for being a part of the department or organization. Remember the need to feel important is a dominant need we all have. And, that goes double for those under your supervision.
On the home front, don’t overlook how “smart” your children are and how valuable their contributions can be to the entire family. Involve them in daily discussions and earnestly listen to their comments. You might just be surprised at what you will learn. Children can be extremely perceptive, can sense a genuine caring attitude and will often, in their innocence, say the raw truth.
Be clear on your expectations.
Like a good parent, you must be clear regarding behaviors, work ethics, peer relationships, etc. The more precisely people understand your expectations; the easier it is for them to work under your management. Unclear and inconsistent expectations create confusion, frustration and confrontation—three elements that cast a dark shadow on your effectiveness as a supervisor. Everyone likes to know the “box” in which they can operate. If that is made clear, they have no excuse for doing the wrong thing and your ability to discipline is made much easier.
Correct improper behavior when it occurs.
Sometimes when one ascends to a supervisory position, they want to exhibit tolerance and are reluctant to introduce too much corrective action. Thus, they let events build and when the annual performance review occurs, they unload. By consistently offering constructive corrective behavior for a current activity, the pile-on is avoided during review periods. Also, the corrective action is relevant to current situations and not part of a long forgotten past.
Parents need to be especially sensitive to this idea. Letting things build up and then unloading for an insignificant event sends mixed signals to your child. Stop things early in the process and expectations are clearer to children and less disruptive behavior is likely to occur. And, what parent wouldn’t welcome that relief!
Keep refining your management style.
We are not born totally effective managers or parents. It’s a technique that can be studied and improved upon. Always evaluate your own performance and the effectiveness of your actions. Be willing to learn new processes that can help improve your style. Read articles and books by successful managers. Talk to the most respected managers in your organization or to successful parents you know. Seek feedback from those you supervise be it workers, teachers, students or your own children.
A great technique to learn involves the use of questions. With workers or school staff, ask: What can I do to improve our professional relationship in order for you to experience more success with your work? Is there a technique I’ve used with you that made you uncomfortable? What improvement would you suggest I consider to make me a better manager? With children, ask: What can I do to improve my parenting skills? What ways can you suggest to make our family bond stronger? Then, listen, learn and lead differently.
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“Leading is an easy job if you care enough to do your very
best for people.”
Billy
Arcement
“Anybody can bring a child into the world. It takes a special person to prepare a child
for the world.”
Billy
Arcement
“Destiny is not a matter of chance. Reaching the destiny of our life is really a
matter of choice. Every day, we make
choices that impact the direction of our life.
We cannot wait for destiny to happen.
It is something we must define, take control of and then plan for its’
achievement.”
Billy Arcement
“When I am ready for the message, I will understand. When I gain understanding, I am ready to grow
and carry out God’s plan for me.”
Billy Arcement
TIME-The
Great Equalizer
Time is the great equalizer. Everyone on the face of the earth is given the same amount of time each day. The only factor separating those who achieve much and those who spend their lives wishing is what these individuals do with their time. Achievers commit to a plan and work their plan. They spend their time doing the most important things. The wishers of life have no plan and thus are relegated to working the plans of others. These individuals react to life rather than taking a proactive position
How then do we get control of time and make it work for our benefit? Control starts by seizing the moment. That is the only time we control. We cannot live in or change the past. What is done is over. We cannot live in the future. It is unborn and intangible-only a vision in the mind. All we have is now, the moment in which we can use the lessons of the past and the moment in which we can begin to give birth and tangibility to the vision of our future.
Resolve to use every moment life offers to the fullest. Develop a prioritized list of goals and plan action steps to accomplish these goals. Don’t put off doing what is necessary. Procrastination can be the thief of time. As Winston Churchill said, “The price of greatness is responsibility.” Take responsibility to build focus on what you want to achieve and use the moments of time to work your plan. That is how time becomes the great equalizer. That is how you bring your dreams into reality.
It’s almost impossible to go through a day without using the telephone. Recently while traveling from a speaking engagement, I boarded the rental car van to return to the airport for my flight home. On the bus there were six people. Four of the six were on cell phones. As I entered the airport and made my way to my gate, I counted another ten people using their cell phones. Along the walls of the airport, phone booths were filled with travelers. During the time I was in the airport it is probably a conservative estimate that hundreds of calls were made or received. We are truly “controlled” by our telephones.
How many times does the phone ring and interrupt your daily work activity? How many times do you use the phone to conduct business? If you conduct a study of your use of time to determine answers to these two questions, the results might surprise you. When I did this a few years ago, I learned that I was either receiving or initiating calls an average of twenty times a day or 400 times a month! This was a tremendous consumer of my time and something I needed to better control. Here are some ideas that I implemented to help get control of this interruption. Perhaps they can prove equally valuable to you.
(1) Don’t socialize on the phone. Complete your business activity and hang up.
(2) Plan calls in advance. Outline key points that need discussing and stick to the agenda.
(3) Batch your calls rather than randomly returning or making calls.
(4) Give your party a callback time. This avoids phone tag.
(5) If possible, screen calls. Find out who is calling and what they want.
(6) Adopt the habit of taking copious notes of phone conversations. Success will follow the individuals who have the best notes.
Many times, we seem to be anchored to a habit or position and change is not an option we feel we have or an option we want to exercise. To bring about improvement, we must embrace change. And, that means overcoming our own inertia. It is my belief that the beginning of success lies in overcoming this inertia-the glue that keeps us in one spot and, until removed, halts our momentum forever.
What is grounding you in place? What habits have you resisted changing? What improvement, if implemented, could make your financial, personal, career or family situation better? Do you really have a genuine understanding of how you use your time each day? These are but a few important questions one should address as he or she considers how inertia is impacting their life. Isn’t it time you get some answers?
We’ve covered some very important points in this newsletter. But, none of what is written will have any impact unless you apply the information in your daily life. Now is the time to correct old habits and begin anew. Each moment of time represents a potential new beginning point to renew our being. We should forget our past failures. All of our thoughts should be on the possibilities of what can be-on our desires that burn with the intensity of the sun. You must understand that you will not have a desire without the ability to achieve that desire. What is your dream? Do you believe it is possible to achieve? What it takes is a belief that the seemingly impossible is now a possibility. Won’t you take a few minutes now to dream about the impossible? Won’t you commit to make the best use of each moment this life offers?
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When it’s time to choose a
speaker for your next important meeting, choose Billy Arcement, MEd. He brings humor, inspiration,
warmth and sincerity to the platform.
Billy’s syndicated column, The Search for Success, has an annual
readership of one-half million+. He is also the author of the book, Searching for Success. Billy
is a writer, consultant, professional speaker and President of The Results
Group. He is a respected and
popular presenter for business groups throughout the
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